Words I hope make a comeback...

Is it just me or is slang today really fucking lazy? It seem all one has to do is replace the last syllable with "izzle" (as in "For Shizzle") or just drop the last syllable entirely (as in "I'm getting off at Bloor Stache" as opposed to Bloor "Station"). Is a two syllable word really that fucking difficult to say? What a bunch of fat, bloated, decadent, spoiled, lazy fucks we are. Don't even get me started on BRB or BFF or WTF being included in the SPOKEN lexicon. Ugh....

So, without further ado, here is a collection of five slang words I hope to make popular again:

Righteous: What a great slang this is. First, its multisyllabic which makes it a difficult word for today's hip cat to pronounce. Second, its a real goddamn word. Meaning to act in accord with divine or moral law, its a stroke of genius to parlay it into an exclamation for anything of utmost cool. As if God himself decreed it. "The Tool concert was the most Righteous show I've ever seen!" Indeed.

Rad or Radical: Again, its a real word and multisyllabic. A complicated word in its traditional form, Radical has meaning in politics (extreme and rigid), sociology (major shift or change), math (algebra - root quantities) and chemistry (a destabilizing molecule). As it relates to this topic however, the word has been co opted to mean anything completely out of the ordinary, often shocking, but always awesome. "Did you see that goal Malkin scored last night? It was Rad as fuck!"

Bitchin: This is more of a quick strike declaration of cool. Whereas Righteous and Radical are reserved for events that require a bit more contemplation, Bitchin can be used when the circumstances call for a more immediate response. "Wow, that car is really Bitchin" or "Bitchin shoes, where did you get them?" and so on...

Heinous: This is another great word and takes us in a different direction than the previous three. Meaning outrageously evil or wicked, its been only slightly altered to describe anything NOT cool (but also not to be confused with anti-cool such as nerd or geek) like a stunt gone wrong. "You see that youtube video where the skateboarder bails and cracks his head open? It was heinous." I've been using this word for years. Heinous is bitchin.

Twat: This is simply a great word and I just don't understand why it doesn't have more appeal. One of a myriad of colloquialisms for vagina, the proper usage of this word can be devastatingly awesome. If I called someone (usually another dude) a Twat, its less a generic insult and more a statement on the individuals worth (or lack thereof) as a man. Whereas "pussy" denotes cowardice, a Twat goes much further. Weak, cowardly, and untrustworthy, a Twat is not someone you want with you in a foxhole, to know a secret about you or dating your sister. He is everything a man should NOT be. Twats are Heinous.

Now is the time for slang to be cool again. And not this lazy, douche nonsense we hear uttered everywhere by mindless Twats. Be forthright, be Righteous, and lets end this bullshit era of the "izzle". Rad.